Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Reunion Thoughts

Reunion planning sucks. I've mentioned before that I'm in charge of planning my High School's 20th class reunion. Slowly things are coming together - and I'm really trying to stay out of a lot of the details, but people keep coming to me for advice, thoughts, expectations, etc. I think some my my anxiety stems from this commotion in the back of my mind that these old classmates/friends are stirring up.

I mean 20-years is a long time, and High School was good to me but I was a a$$ when I look back at myself. Several memories flash across my mind's movie screen that I'm ashamed of doing and talking to all of these classmates bring these memories to the forefront of my mind. Now don't misunderstand me; my whole High School experience wasn't bad, actually most of it was very good; it's just 3-5 things I did to people that make me ashamed. Things I never admitted to, owned up to, or outright didn't apologize for; these things have my stomach churning.

I'm not a hugely religious man - but I was brought up in a religious family (in fact my mother is a Presbyterian Minister) and these actions of a 16 year old still bother me to this day. I'm not crazy and I'm not going to bring up these instances just so I can 'clense' myself of my guilt but sometimes I wish I could just say I'm sorry for the hurt I caused. I'm sure I'm not alone and that everyone behaved poorly in HS and normally It's not even on my mind, but with the planning these thoughts are just sitting there.

So for anyone who knew me in HS sorry (which I'm sure no one is reading this) - I'm an A$$. Please forgive me.

Running update: I'm supposed to run with my friend Eddie on Wednesday - he's a former marine and we ran the Ladera Ranch Fourth of July 5k together this past year. He literally pulled me through that race (that's when I decided I'd take running much more seriously) and tomorrow will be the first time we've run together since then so I'm looking forward to his company. We're only going to do 2 miles since he's hasn't run at all over the past few months, but I have a feeling that he's going to do just fine.

Keep Steppin'

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